1. Who initiates most of the contact?
Who initiates most of the contact is an important barometer in any friendship. Friendships get toxic when one of you is way more invested than the other.
If you’re mostly initiating contact, or always having to make the effort, start taking a step back to see what happens. You’ll easily see which friends are meant to be in your life versus those who aren’t.
2. How do they make you feel?
How you feel in their company and how you feel once you’ve parted company is a great way to tell if you’re in a toxic friendships.
THE FIVE SIGNS
1. They don’t initiate contact
2. They leave you feeling drained
3. They don’t add to your life
4. They don’t support your life goals
5. They’re hard to pin down
If you’re left feeling drained, angry or even resentful, release the friendship. You’ve probably outgrown each other. If, on the other hand, they leave you feeling refreshed, revitalised and alive, they’re keepers.
3. Do they add or subtract to your life?
Do you dread meeting up with them? If there’s no fun left in your friendship, it’s time to break up.
Friendships shouldn’t detract from your life, neither should you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Great friendships actually boost your immune system, while toxic friendships leave you feeling off balance.
4. Do they support your life goals?
Are they always criticising your hopes and dreams or are they supportive? Do they make you feel guilty for pursuing your goals? Can you count on their support when the chips are down?
Good friends want the best for you and are your biggest cheerleaders. Toxic friends will act jealous, mean spirited and may even try to sabotage your hopes and dreams.
5. Are they hard to pin down?
If they’re always ‘too busy’ to meet you, or, if they constantly cancel pre-arranged plans, stop investing in this friendship. Instead, invest in friends who value your time, lift you up and want to spend time with you.
India Kang is a dating and relationship coach and author of two bestselling books ‘Why Men Ask Dumb Dating Questions,’ and ‘How to Date – Single Girls’ Dating Manual.’